James was minding his own business, drinking his coffee, and reading the paper. It was Sunday morning. His day off. His day to relax, maybe go outside and mow the lawn, if the weather wasn’t too hot.
“This time it will be different.” Liz said pleadingly, sitting down on the couch next to James. Convincing him to try new things was always a challenge. Her track record wasn’t that good and she really needed something to go as planned.
“You said that last time,” James said without looking at her. Saying no was easier if he didn’t look at her. Liz had a way with her eyes like a sad puppy or cute little kitten and if she curled her lip up slightly simultaneously, James knew he was done for. He was a little curious though.
“How will it be different?” he said nonchalantly while taking a sip of his coffee.
“This time, I read the directions.”
Ha! James thought. He had heard that before. The last time she “read the directions” was for that entertainment centre they bought from IKEA a couple of months ago. He put all the pieces together just like Liz had instructed. He put all the little wooden pegs into the holes just as Liz told him to. Sure, there were a couple of pieces left over, but Liz said they were optional. It looked solid. Sturdy. James was so proud to see it there in the corner of the living room ready. He had built something. They placed the tv—the brand new 55-inch flat screen QLED smart tv—gingerly onto the shelf part and stepped back to admire their handiwork.
Their 5-year-old son Jimmy ran into the room to see the progress and the vibration of his feet running on the floor caused the entertainment centre to sway. There must have been a look of horror on James’ face as he watched the entertainment centre lean to the right and fold like a house of cards taking the tv with it crashing to the floor. Liz claimed it wasn’t her fault.
“The instructions are in a different language! It’s more like following the diagrams! How was I supposed to know the big flat thin piece was the part that held it all together? I thought it was optional!” she said.
They managed to put it back together including the flat piece in the back. The entertainment center does support the tv, which was thankfully unharmed in the melee, but if you look at it just right, from the right angle, you can see how something is not quite right with it.
Liz could sense James was reminiscing and said softly, “This time will be different. I promise.” James couldn’t take it. All the memories began flooding back to him. All the failed attempts. Somehow, she and Jimmy always ended up on the wrong side of things. He still couldn’t look at her but he wasn’t going to fall for it.
“You mean different than the home tattoo kit?” James started as he put his coffee cup down on the coffee table. “It said to use the temporary ink until you got used to the feel of the tattoo needle.”
“Yeah, they should have labeled those containers better.”
“You used the genuine ink and now I have a tattoo across my back in gangster font that says, ‘It’s Britney, Queen!’ It’s there forever Liz.”
“How was I supposed to know? How hard could it be? Prisoners tattoo each other all the time…”
“Forever. I can’t go without a shirt on hot days anymore.”
“I said I was sorry. I mean, it does look cute on your back though.”
Liz didn’t seem sorry enough for James. He had to get through to her. “What about the time we bought little Jimmy a new bike and you thought we could save money and put it together ourselves? I’ll never forget watching him ride down the driveway and as he turned the handlebars toward the sidewalk, the front wheel rolled right off…”
“Hey, he got pretty far! Farther than I thought he would actually…”
“Six weeks in a cast, Liz.”
“I know. He was cute with his little cast and all the signatures on it from his friends.”
James looked directly at Liz. He was putting his foot down. It was for his and Jimmy’s health and safety that Liz is stopped. He folded his newspaper up dramatically and thwacked the table as he set it down trying to seem assertive. “You’re not allowed to put things together anymore.”Liz’s face lit up with hope. “But this isn’t putting things together!”
James was suspicious. “You’re not allowed to do anything permanent either.”
Liz smiled. “This isn’t permanent! It’s temporary!”
Liz is so pretty when she smiles all big and full of hope. That smile made James feel warm inside and also very nervous. He could feel himself caving under the pressure. “You can’t use Jimmy for this project. The doctor always looks at me weird when I take him in.” Sensing an opening, Liz replied, “I’ll use you then!”
To be continued…
