Olivia had no friends. Well, no that’s a lie. She had friends. Not good friends, but friends all together. However, she was also sure that none of her friends really liked her. They didn’t invite her out very often. She spent her lunches with them, but she would usually just sit in the corner and listen. Olivia’s life was like a black and white photograph. Plain and boring.
Olivia didn’t blame her friends for not liking her. She didn’t like herself either. She didn't like how she looked, her arms too thin, her stomach too chubby, and her face- well, she just didn’t like it. Her jet black hair and matching eyes weren’t anything to brag about. She didn’t like how she was emotionally and intellectually. She didn’t like how her brain processed things, she hated how she stressed and fixated on the most minor things, and she disliked her anxiety the most.
Taylor on the other hand had some friends. She also liked herself. Not in a weird egomaniac kind of way, but she accepted herself. Taylor liked her long brown hair, her green eyes, and her body. Taylor got over her anxiety (mostly) and had accepted herself for who she was.
Olivia and Taylor went to the same school, but they had spoken to each other only once, when Taylor needed a pencil, three years ago, in seventh grade. But now they were made partners in class. They didn’t talk much at first, but Olivia decided to strike up a conversation. She usually would have kept quiet as well, but there was something about Taylor that made people want to be friends with her.
They started hanging out together during lunch, and Olivia began to feel more comfortable with Taylor. She felt like she could say what came to her mind and she didn’t have to hold anything in. When Olivia was with her other friends, she felt like they were constantly judging her and that only made her dislike herself more. She didn’t ‘enjoy’ hanging out with them; she just did because she had no one else. How it made her feel about herself was something she didn’t think of until she met Taylor.
When she was with Taylor, the whole mountain full of her stress and anxiety left. Talking to Taylor didn’t feel like something she HAD to do, it was something that she WANTED to. Olivia also learned that Taylor still struggled with anxiety and panic attacks. This flaw in Taylor only made Olivia like her more.
Taylor was fun-loving and spontaneous. She was the kind of person who would dance in the rain and people would watch and applaud. Taylor called Olivia ‘Liv’. She helped Olivia not just exist but helped her live. They met very often, meetings after school, during brunches, study sessions and so much more. Taylor liked being with Liv just as much as Liv did with Taylor. Olivia taught Taylor how to roller skate and Taylor taught her how to paint. Liv found out that she was best at sketching with her pencil whereas Taylor loved to use colours. One day Olivia asked Taylor how she learned to love herself. Taylor looked her dead in the eyes and answered.
“Liv, if you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see, don’t hate on it. Try to change what you can, and if you can’t change it, accept it. To love yourself you first need to love life. Don’t spend time with people that don’t make you feel welcome to be yourself. And trust me, if people don’t see you the way you see yourself. We see you as so much more.”
And just like that, Olivia was fixed! She loved herself and it was great and easy. Well,...It wasn’t that easy. But that helped Liv. She didn’t love EVERYTHING about herself immediately, but she would learn. And she would forever be indebted to Taylor. Taylor was the colour in Liv’s life.
Taylor taught Olivia to love and accept herself when no one was ready to love her.
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