Anger and windstorms are quite similar in nature if we think about it. Only after their passing do we realise what serious scarring and destruction have been caused. Their aftermath is certainly something most of us fear and shudder at.
I fear that while anger takes over me, in the spur of the moment I have said terrible and heartless things without meaning them. Calling someone rude words, behaving presumptuously and in an uncivilized manner, saying things I don't even mean; is that small moment of anger actually worth it?
During these moments, we lose all sense of rationality as this feeling of anger just completely envelopes us and overwhelms us. We are in a different 'avatar' where we stop thinking about the aftermath and just think about the pain we are going through.
Sometimes, as some people are in a state of hopelessness and loneliness, they become extremely irritable and sensitive. These feelings of irritation and agitation after being bottled up for so long may lead to a huge outburst upon reaching a certain point leading to these feelings of exasperation overpowering our sanity and rationality. After these negative emotions engulf us completely there are times when an innocent bystander is subjected to this negativity. Even if we realise our mistakes, it is far too late and we cannot turn back time. We cannot prevent something which has already passed and there are multiple times when a simple apology may not suffice and we might have just scarred a precious relationship with a loved one.
While being angry, there are times when the person we are most cross with is none other than ourselves. During these times, we highlight our insecurities in an extremely incorrect and degrading manner, putting ourselves down for absolutely no reason, lowering our self-confidence to a point of no return, accusing ourselves of being undeserving of being happy and loved and reaching this point from where it is extremely difficult to rebuild our self-confidence. Is it really alright to cause so much long term harm to ourselves? Does our mental health not matter much to us?
Relationships are broken and ruined, loved ones are hurt, trauma is felt, trust is minimized and insecurities are brought out for everyone to see. 'Anger', this feeling has so much power over us that in even a short moment where it takes over our bodies and minds, it can ruin everything which we have taken so much time to develop and build.
I do think to myself sometimes, “Is it still right to suppress my actual true emotions even though they are feelings of anger and exasperation? Aren’t there times when you need to get angry to show that you value yourself and your dignity? Isn’t there a real reason why this emotion of anger exists?” I am yet to find an answer that satisfies me and I don’t think it will be soon when I find an answer to this question of mine. The thing I believe I have understood over time is that anger is still an emotion, there are times where we will not be able to control it and there are times when feelings should be let out because bottling up feelings is never the right answer. We should be able to cry, shout, scream, sob and laugh as much as we want and to our heart’s content. After all, we are humans and it is our nature to act upon emotions and there is a reason why emotions do exist.
There are people out there who take advantage of those who do not get angry and their kindness and subject these poor souls to unfair methods. The point here is, we must never forget our dignity and our value and sometimes we do need to showcase our irritation, annoyance and anger to get things done. The Benjamin Franklin quote comes to my mind here, “Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one.” This quote stands very true in my mind as I believe that we, as human beings, have a right to be angry but this right only applies when our anger can actually be justified.
Anger is a natural human emotion, but we must remember that it is an emotion that is uncontrollable at times and can wound someone, destroy relationships and cause grief and this effect can be long lasting and there are some occasions where the effect might last forever. The art of rationality is a beautiful one and we must learn and appreciate it. Take hold of the situation, understand it, think of it rationally and think about how we should act upon it. “Is there ever an absolute right answer when it comes to letting out feelings and acting upon them? If there is, I would love to know what it is” I think to myself.
“No one heals himself by wounding another” - Ambrose
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